One of the most profound aspects of Internal Family Systems therapy is the moment when clients begin to truly see and understand their parts. This process—what IFS calls insight work—often creates transformative shifts that ripple through a person's entire system.

I frequently suggest "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" by Francis Weller to clients dealing with grief. This book treats grief not as an issue to resolve but as an essential human experience that, when given the right space, can lead to deeper connections.

For women in midlife, I often suggest "Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. I recently revisited it in my 40s and found it resonates much deeper than when I first read it in my early 30s.

This book speaks directly to reclaiming your authentic nature after years of putting everyone else first. Using myths and folktales, Estés illuminates how we've muffled our instinctual wisdom to fit external expectations—and shows us the path back to ourselves.

I recently read Dr. Ramani Durvasula's "It's Not You," a compelling book about narcissistic relationships. While her insights offer valuable validation for those who've experienced manipulation and gaslighting, I found myself wrestling with its approach through my IFS lens.

This episode features two sisters, ages 6 and 8, who navigate conflict with surprising wisdom. After a disagreement, the younger sister directly expresses her feelings rather than acting on them, while the older sister responds with understanding instead of defensiveness.

Their exchange reminds us that sometimes the path through conflict isn't about changing our feelings, but expressing them honestly while remaining open to creative solutions. As the older sister explains, "I've been with her for six years of my life... I get to watch a whole entire movie about her in my mind."

When clients ask about resources to better understand our work together, I always recommend "No Bad Parts" by Richard Schwartz. As the founder of Internal Family Systems therapy, Schwartz provides a clear window into how our different inner parts function and why they all deserve our attention.